I'm A Werewolf Baby references


Ah, the Germans. We owe them for high performance vehicles, outrageously priced chocolate, and even Snoopy's obsession with the Red Baron. But the Fatherland is also the source of one of mankind's most enduring myths and best selling Halloween costumes: The Werewolf. Born out of a justified fear of wolf attacks in the rural village of Cologne, Germany in 1591, locals began to spread the myth that those attacked by wolves would not just perish, but return from the dead as crazed half-human, half-beast, killing machines. Peter Stubbe was the first to be tried as a werewolf. Many outlandish claims were made against him, including a charge that he killed his son and ate his brain. Stubbe was tried under what would become known as the ever so lovely and fair "Salem-style" of justice, where after hours of torture he confessed to the crimes (and just about every other unsolved case in Germany.) Stubbe had his limbs broken and skin pealed off before being beheaded. A punishment, which in the middle ages, was equivalent to community service and time served.

Unlike those self-serving mythical characters, Dracula, Frankenstein:
and the Leprechaun:

the Werewolf has maintained it's terryfing purity. When this savage beast of lore does extend into the mainstream culture, it is for purely noble causes such as Michael Jackson's thriller video or the 1981 classic "An American Werewolf in London."

And if Michael J. Fox has taught me anything, besides his tireless and courageous work for Parkinson's research of course, it's that I musta been one pathetic loser in high school when you consider this guy could not only dunk like Mike, but wind up winning the girl as well:

I'm gonna stop cutting my nails.