Double Suicide Rant


She had a beautiful apartment

She had a beautiful apartment

Well actually, it was a lousy apartment

But she's got architectural digest magazine

And she's very handy with her hands

And she knows what she's doing

She likes to decorate her apartment in the Santa Fe tradition

I told her it was dated, but I see more of the world than she does

She got an apartment where the property was cheap, next to the freeway

She said "I save lotsa money but I lose lotsa sleep, in my apartment where the property's so cheap"

And we'd laugh, and we'd laugh,

Ah, we'd take pot shots at the passing cars, and we'd laugh

We were dumping the body and we'd laugh

We found a place that was dark and rotten

A place where the police helicopter would never spot it

I destroyed the map that we so carefully dotted

Every day we're dumping a body she and me

Every single day, and we'd laugh about it

That's when I knew that it was time we both kill ourselves together

Together we were nothing but a menace

Apart we were nothing but lonely

I read too much, I thought we should kill ourselves

She doesn't read a thing, she believed me

"Are you really the messiah?" Yes I am

She was younger than me too, she was younger than me

And I said to her, I said: ya know Pauline, no one stamps on a burning bag of shit anymore, nobody.

"Are you really the Messiah?" Yes I am. Believe it.

So we opted to kill ourselves, as I said

But we had one rifle and one bullet

So I told her to put her head down close to the barrel

And put the barrel sort of into her mouth

And I'd be right behind her with my head right behind hers

And I said her life would end instantly, mine might have a few extra minutes of agony and suffering

Couldn't pull the trigger so we attached a string to it, around the lamp and to the doorknob

The first person to come into her cheap fucking apartment would blow both our heads off

But we got to thinking, we changed our minds, ya know, I mean we got scared and kinda chickened out

And we'd laugh ya know, we kinda laughed about it

What were we thinking? Together we're not that bad, we're not that bad

We don't need to kill ourselves, we don't need to kill ourselves

And then the D-train rattled overhead, knocked the door ajar

And on the faulty lock, the door swung open... and killed her

That's my story and I'm stick'n to it